I am exactly in the same situation. For months I have been thinking toytec is best choice for me. Recently I changed my mind. I will go for icons. I found posts of people who had both and they say icon is better although differences seem to be small. Icon is also common among NorCalFJers. Everyone I asked is happy with their setup...although if you ask toytec owners they will say they are happy too...tough choice..
I have the Icon Stage 2 lift. The performance on road is improved over stock. The ride is stiffer and less subject to roll on bends. Off road is improved also. A little more travel (remember, I have the long travel coilovers and the Icon UCA's) and more clearance. The rate seems to cope well with big slow hits and smaller, quicker hits. I have been able to keep the factory alignment (probably because of the new UCA's), but I'm considering adding a little caster (more stable tracking and body mount clearance). Overall, I am very happy. I have no experience with the ToyTec setup.
Call Mark at Metal-tech and ask him the differences between lifts for the FJ. They are an ICON dealer as well. It has been my experience that he gives you an accurate description of the products that are available and their strengths and weaknesses.
Here is a quote from Mark/metaltech:
Stage One: $1386 - Delivered no sales tax
Stage Two: $2461 - Delivered no sales tax
We also offer a "Stage Two Total Chaos" for $2026 - Delivered no sales tax
The TC version of the Stage Two kit is the TC UCA's in place of the Icon
UCA's.
The Stage Two with Light Racing UCA's = $1836 Delivered no sales tax.
I'd go with the ICON. I have the Toytec and it's too sloppy. Flipping a u-turn with any momentum feels like I get one front tire off the ground due to the rear and one side squatting - serious, I want someone to watch to see if it's happening - I'd swear one wheel comes back down and "hits" the pavement. Also have some issues i need to address with them: One side had to be adjusted to where there's only one inch left of adjustment on the coilover and the other side has 2.5 in! That's a huge difference.